They say you shouldn’t bring the office home to your family.
Bruce Feiler disagrees.
The author of "The Secrets of Happy Families" has created a novel new approach to parenting borrows directly from a computer programming system developed for professional environments.
Feiler’s “Agile parenting” is based around the computer programming system – Agile.
Developed in 2001 Agile Programming is, according to Wikipedia, “a group of software development methods in which requirements and solutions evolve through collaboration between self-organizing, cross-functional teams.
It promotes adaptive planning, evolutionary development, early delivery, continuous improvement and encourages rapid and flexible response to change.”
Feiler came to the idea of using Agile methodology in order to combat the stressed-out nature of modern family life.
He quotes a study by Ellen Galinsky of the Families and Work Institute that asked 1000 kids, “If you were granted one wish about your parents, what would it be?” The parents predicted the answer would be, spending more time with them. But the kids actually said they wanted their parents be less tired and less stressed.
Feiler decided he wanted to find a way to “reduce stress, draw our family closer and generally prepare our children to enter the world.”
A central part of the Agile methodology is breaking down tasks into small tasks completed by small groups and then checking them off and moving on. This common technique for stressed out people has an added bonus because, according to Feiler, ‘ticking’ items off a list is “heaven” for kids.
Another key to the Agile method is regular meetings. Feiler has adapted these into family meetings where just three items are on the agenda: What worked well, what didn’t work well and what do we agree to work on in the week ahead?
Bruce Feiler’s Agile Parenting manifesto is as follows:
1. Adapt all the time: build in a system of change to your family ‘routines’.
2. Empower your children: plan their own goals, create their own weekly schedule, and even…choose their own punishments.
3. Tell your story: create a family mission statement and tell the ‘story’ of your family (both the positive and the negative) to your kids to give them context of where they fit in the world.
If you want to hear more about Agile Parenting, check out Feiler’s TED talk here.
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